Is How I Feel Negatively Affecting How I think?

This week’s question of the week is useful if you’re having interpersonal conflict, or you need to make an important decision.

The question to ponder this week “Is how I feel negatively affecting how I think?”

This question is useful when we are in disagreement or conflict – especially with those close to us, or when we need to make a big decision that requires us to think rationally or logically. This is because how we feel often negatively effects how we think, and behave in situations.

Think about a time when you were really annoyed or angry with someone. Maybe you thought some pretty terrible things about that person, and even said some terrible things – to, or about the person. But then afterward’s, once the anger had run its course, and subsided, maybe you regretted thinking those things, and especially saying those things. So, how we feel can effect how we think and behave.

Don’t get me wrong. Anger can be a very useful emotion in certain situations. If you feel threatened physically it can help you fight back or get away. It can help you stand up for yourself, and stop others walking all over you.

Our negative emotions are also an important source of information. They indicate often that our needs are not being met. We feel anxious when our needs for security or safety are not being met, when we think that something might hurt us. We feel stress when we believe we can’t cope with the demands of a situation. We feel guilt and shame when we beleive our behaviour has dropped below our personal standards. We feel angry when we feel attacked, or we‘re stopped from achieving an important goal.

The problem with all of these emotions, is they take over. They partly disengage the logical, forward-thinking, problem-solving part of our brains – while the emotional and reactive parts of our brain take over to protect us. And sometimes this doesn’t serve us.

So what can do about it? Well if you’re feeling a very strong emotion like anger during an interpersonal conflict – for example having a argument with your partner or work colleague – the best thing to do is give yourself some space and remove yourself from the situation. Maybe try a breathing technique – here’s a link to a great one by Andrew Weil, or hit the gym and work out. This work’s with big decisions as well. If you feel overly stressed, anxious or worried – give yourself some space and time. Let that emotion run its course and then look at the situation again before you decide what to do. Give yourself a ‘cooling off’ period before you commit to a course of action.

I hope you find this useful

See you next week.

Jayson

Book a free consultation to work 1:1

About the Author 

Jayson Moran
Jayson Moran Psychologist
Jayson is a Psychologist who specializes in helping Entrepreneurs & Professionals. His background is in the psychology of Performance, Development & Wellbeing
Read More
Book a Free Consultation

Work 1:1

LEARN MORE

Talks & Workshops

LEARN MORE

Development & Wellbeing Programs.

LEARN MORE

JAYSON MORAN

Performance, Development & Wellbeing Psychology

for Entrepreneurs & Professionals.

Hi, I’m Jayson.

Since 2017, I’ve been helping Entrepreneurs & Professionals deal with challenging situations, and to build better lives, businesses, and communities, through enhancing effectiveness, impact & wellbeing.

I use the best of psychological science to help clients explore and better understand themselves, each other, and the practical and psychological barriers reducing effectiveness, impact & wellbeing.

I help clients get unstuck, unstressed and clear through working 1:1, talks & workshops, and wellbeing & development programs.

Get in Touch
Book a Free Consultation

Work 1:1

Performance, Development & Wellbeing Psychology.

Performance Confidence Motivation & Engagement Productivity Procrastination

Development Personal & Professional Decision Making Future Planning Problem Solving

Wellbeing StressBehaviour Change Happiness Work-Life Balance

Learn More

Talks & Workshops

Talks & Workshops for Business & Corporate

Evidence Based Interactive Engaging Thought Provoking

explorations of modern barriers to performance, productivity & wellbeing

Find Out More

Development & Wellbeing Courses

EntrepreneursCPDGraduates Public Courses

Personal and professional development and wellbeing utilising the best of psychological science. Develop and Support yourself or your team using psychological theory, tools and techniques.

Mindset Happiness Personal Development Motivation

Find Out More

Performance, Development & Wellbeing Psychology.

Get in touch to find out more about my 1:1 Work, Talks, Workshops, and Development & Wellbeing programs.

Explore. Understand. Move Forward.

Jayson Moran

Jayson Moran

Psychology for Entrepreneurs & Professionals
+353 (0)87 699 7396

By submitting my data I agree to be contacted